The Plunge

Well, I finally did it. I said goodbye to simplicity and comfort and frustration and finally jumped into the world of smartphones. Hello team iPhone! I've always tried to keep my life as clutter free as possible and stood my ground when all my students tries to convince me to come out of the dark ages. But I've given in. And you know, it feels pretty nice. I'm actually typing this post on the phone right now. The wonders of the Internet! This little box can do all sorts of amazing things! 

Here's the challenge I face: keeping the simplicity. 

I know that The Lord calls us to remove distractions, live more simply, but in today's world we don't always do that. We get busy and add apps and tv shows, more after school activities and turn the music up loud. And sometimes in doing all that, we lose the wonder. So as good as The Lord is, He gave me the right words this morning. I was doing my devotional (I'm going through Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts devotional) and this morning's was titled "Urgent Grace."  She talks about how God gives us time, but so often we don't have time for God. She goes on to talk about how being in a hurry can often lead to regret because we miss the moment we're in due to worry over the next moments. Hello! being fully present in each moment, each conversation is so important! 

She then says, 

<blockquote>"Life is so urgent it necessitates living slow."  </blockquote>

Because life is fleeting, we must take in the moments and be slow, reverent. In Christ, time is not running out. We lose time when we don't sit before Him to fill. Because in the filling, we gain time. 

<blockquote>"We stand on the brink of eternity. So there is enough time. Time to breathe deep and time to see real. Time to laugh long, time to give God glory and to rest deep and to sing joy." </blockquote>

What words I needed to hear again and again. I'm so fast to neglect spending time at Jesus' feet, in His Word when life gets busy. But the reality is that when I begin each day with filling myself with Him, I gain time and perspective and all the rest falls into place. 

So as I enter the world of smartphones, may I - may we - not lose sight of being present. Of giving attention to conversation instead of virtual social media. 

May The Lord fill us as we take this urgent life slow. 

Top 10 Things Overheard at Revolve 2013

I took some of my girls to Revolve Tour a few weeks ago, and I made up a list of top 10 (or 12 actually) things that happened or were overheard.  They probably just sound dumb if you don't know these girls or weren't there. But here they are anyway. Better late than never!

• They’re climbing in yo window…snatching your snacks up. Hide yo sour patch kids, hide yo m&ms. ’cause the rats are all up in here!
• Drool and jaws drop as Anthem Lights takes the stage. High pitched screaming follows.
• I’m not sure who is screeching louder, Kelly Scott or the rats??
• ”We didn’t sleep all night! And we’re not tired. And we wrote new songs on the guitar we learned to play just now.”
• Upon meeting Anthem Lights: “Hi whats your name?” Danniee: “Ummm…Uhhh, Christina!”
  Later: “Who’s Christina?? I completely forgot my name, he’s so attractive!”
• What should we do with 40 girls at midnight? Pack out McDonalds and feed them ice cream!
• Bullying is cool #saidnooneever
• Can we be best friends with Britt Nicole?? -Molly Sexton
• I’m never washing this hand again!
• ”Nothing abnormal about riding a wheelchair at church and 1:00 a.m”
• The service is over and it’s time to go…where are all our girls? Oh, that’s right. We’ll be waiting on them for the next few hours as they talk with bands and speakers. Waiting…always waiting.
• After waiting, we get kicked out…again.
• Why is it that we got kicked out? Oh yes, because Molly and Courtney are freaking out and running laps in the worship center.
• This is Love. And true love is not a what but a Someone.

A Letter of Hope

Dear Girls Minister,

Thank you for your letter of encouragement last week.  I hope this letter, this response, finds you well.  From your last correspondence I could tell that you are at a busy time in your life, and I hope that I have included the parts of my story as you asked, that will benefit your ministry.  In order to tell you of how God worked in my life, I must tell you of the background from which I come.  It’s a long and hard story, so bear with me.

As I reflect on that time in my life I can only say that God carried me through.  Up until about two years ago, I didn’t think that I would even make it to the next day.  But here follows the story of God’s work in my life.

Broken.  That’s the only way to describe the first eleven years of my life.  I cannot recall the details of my biological mother’s face or even the house we lived in.  All I know of those eight years was fear, pain, and rejection.  The smells from my father’s bedroom, which I can now label as Weed and alcohol, were strong enough to kill any sense of smell, but especially in a small child.  The anger that came from that man was emitted on my face, my arms, my legs.  It’s a wonder that I even learned to walk properly.  I’m not sure what it is that I did to cause such anger, but I guess being born was bad enough.  Once Carly and Samuel were born, those beatings became more frequent and I tried to protect them.  They were so small.  If I could just keep them from experiencing what I had gone through….  The way he would look at me, and the thoughts of what he might do – again – haunted every waking moment and were amplified as I slept.  Sleep was supposed to be a release from the troubles, but not in that home, not ever.  Broken, that is what I was.  Broken, dirty, used.

The days were always cloudy in my mind, and once the smoking started again, the clouds would increase and my mind would become fuzzy.  Was this normal?  Would it ever go away?  Carly heard on the radio somewhere, or perhaps at school, that praying would solve your problems.  So we tried that for a few months.  We would pray to have a good life, to be taken out of this hell mother called home.  Did it work?  Did whoever we were praying to even hear us?  Obviously not, because we stayed there.  Two more years we endured.  More years than I care to count feeling like a whore.  I’ll spare you every detail, but looking back it was nothing that any little girl should ever have to live through, much less remember.

The clouds broke one day as sunshine came in the form of uniformed officers.  The moment was terrifying.  There were guns and masked men.  Dogs were barking angrily and running through our house, headed straight to the closet – the closet where the plant my father told me was an “herb” lived.  My parents were handcuffed and forced away.  I made the little ones close their eyes and hide in their room so that they would not have to see the scary scene.  Only when I was much older did I learn that one of the neighbors had heard the beatings and suspected drug use.  I did not cry as they took them away.  I did not cry as we were loaded up in foreign cars.  I had learned long ago that crying did no good, it only brought about harder beatings.  

I learned that this raid was good for us kids.  We were taken to a place where we could play.  I stood back and watched my siblings.  Who were these people here?  How could we trust them?  I could hear adults talking about us and making decisions about us.  The control was never in our hands.

They told me we were going to live with a new family, a nice family.  I didn’t believe them.  What adult was nice?  I’m not sure I even fully understood the word.  We followed the instructions given – what choice did we have, and what could be worse than where we came from?

Hesitantly I began a new life.  The people in this new home were kind.  They took us to this white building where we sang songs and learned about some guy named Jesus.  He seemed nice and Heaven sounded like a safe place.  That’s where my faith began.  This home felt safe.

We lived there two years and then we moved homes again.  I did not cry as we left.  These people were not as kind and we didn’t go to the white church anymore.  We went to school and then we came home.  We went to school and then we came home.  Monotony.  Life was not bad there, but it sure wasn’t as good.  Then, when I was eleven, we were told we were being adopted.  All three of us together.  Cool.  We met the mom and dad who they told us that they had been praying for us and they were excited to become a family.  So what?  My calloused heart wanted to believe them, but what I knew of family wasn’t so great.  We obviously agreed to go with them because any place was probably better than the second foster home.

This family showed love.  A new kind of love that I had never known.  They brought us to church, but this church was different than the white one.  The buildings were red or tan, and we didn’t just sing old songs.  People were friendly and wanted to know me.  I met you and some other women who cared about me and some girls my age.  A few I recognized from school.  Sixth grade is an awkward time for anyone, but for me and my untrusting self, well let’s just say I made it harder than it had to be.  

As the year continued, I became more and more open to the new parents.  But not too open.  That was dangerous and could lead to hurt later.  I wouldn’t cry.  My siblings seemed to really love these parents, so I could protect them less and think about myself more.  

I started spending more time with some girls from church.  Bailey and Kelsey and I became inseparable.  My timid walls began to come down, but I replaced them with craziness – which in reality was just a cry for attention.  I craved so much attention.  These girls began to love me, and I them.  I finally had friends.  We could tell each other everything but I still felt that something in my life was missing and that they didn’t know all of me.

That spring we went to a conference and heard a singer speak about true identity.  About being a daughter of the King.  As she spoke I felt this longing to have what she was talking about.  But what did it mean fully?  I didn’t understand, and I didn’t want to open myself up for more pain.  Besides, my identity was tainted and broken by my biological parents.  The thoughts of what she offered nagged at me, urging me to change, but in small group, and to you, I knew exactly what to say.  I knew how to put on a good masquerade and show the world that I was ok.  Mrs. Katy, (you remember that she was my small group leader?) probably saw through my game, but loved me anyway.  She would tell our group good things that really helped with problems at school.  And while she said true things, and worship in Blue was fun to be part of, the reason I kept coming to church was just to see my friends and to get away from my family for a while.  They kept telling me to read the Bible, but it was so big and old and I didn’t know where to start.  

My crazy actions in public kept gaining me attention and I realized that this satisfied for a short time the longing inside of me.  Boys started to notice and before long one asked me out.  He saw value in me and wanted me.  I knew my adoptive mother would flip if she found out, so I kept him a secret.  I hid that among many other things from people.  I gave the world what they wanted to see, and lying about my life became an addiction.  I think Bailey and Kelsey could see through it, and I think it hurt them, but at the time I didn’t care.  I was protecting myself.  

Finally in seventh or eighth grade, my mother found out about the boyfriends.  She found out about the “non-age appropriate” videos from YouTube.  In my mind they were just dancing, but apparently that wasn’t good enough for her.  The consequences that she put in place for so many things were constricting.  I felt trapped and pressured and broken still.  The hurt from my past was so great .  I lashed out in anger.  I felt that so many people were worried about me that it might be best for all of us if I stop existing.  Many times I thought about how to do it.  Pills were too unreliable, and we didn’t own any guns.  But this had to end!!  The thoughts swarmed until that day you came to my house unannounced.  Do you remember when you and Mrs. Katy wanted to talk to me about some things?  What resulted was an excuse for my mother to tell me all these things she didn’t want to confront me about alone.  This gave more fuel to the fire that wanted to end my life.  However, you seemed concerned about me.  It was as though you were on my side, listening to me.  I told y’all of a time earlier that day at La Hacienda Ranch when I wanted to escape; when hurting myself seemed like the only option.  I told you that I didn’t not believe in God, but that I couldn’t be certain that there was a God.  I told you that I had stopped reading the Bible and devotional you had given all of the girls earlier that year.

And suddenly, I felt a bit more free.  Telling the truth, even when I didn’t know how to fix it, seemed to bring me closer to freedom.  You listened.  And I mattered.  I wasn’t just one in a crowd, and I wasn’t broken in y’alls eyes – maybe still in my mind, but in your eyes I could see myself differently.

Do you remember what we did next?  You suggested that we start together.  That small thought-change began with Jesus, and that He heals brokenness.  You suggested that we could all use a little accountability and decided that you, Bailey, Kelsey, and I would read through Philippians together, discussing it along the way.  This accountability was intimidating to me at first, but then Jesus began to speak to me.  Years of feeling abandoned by Him faded as I felt His presence.  I began to look forward to the girls ministry events that we would have every month or so because it meant I could hear how Jesus was changing other girls’ lives and I could hear truth spoken from girls for us girls.  One time we had a giant girls weekend, but you then turned it into more frequent, short night events, so that we could bring friends, have girl-time, and listen to each other’s lives.  I don’t think I ever told you, but those nights were some of the times when I was encouraged most.  I began to see myself as others saw me – not as a whore, but as a daughter of God.  

Throughout high school, God turned my brokenness into a place of healing.  Because of my small group on Sundays and deep Bible study on Wednesdays, I was able to hear God’s truth and read His Word for myself.  I had a craving to know Him more and more.  I couldn’t wait to tell others how he had healed the holes in my heart.  Jesus took away my destructive thoughts.  I no longer thrust myself into the arms of the world, but was whole in Christ.  My relationship with my siblings became healthy and I began to trust men.  Only a little though.  Our accountability continued for a long while, and I realized that not all of the girls had this.  Do you remember the discussion we had about this?  I began reaching out to younger girls.  We would do life together and middle schoolers were encouraged by high schoolers.  I served more and I began to see how the church worked. I was inspired as I saw you encourage the small group leaders, having coffee with them on Sunday mornings, or taking interest in their lives throughout the week.  It made an impact on how they related to us girls.

So, This is how God has moved.  I don’t recognize the person I was, wanting to end the precious gift of life God gives.  I was playing the part of the Creator instead of allowing Him to do so.  You asked me to describe where I am now.  Well, I’ve been at college for two years now.  It’s been a long road, but I am plugged in to a church that I’ve been attending since the third week of school.  I am being mentored by my favorite professor’s wife, who happens to love the Lord more than I thought was possible.  I never thought I’d make it past eighth grade, but here I am.  I never thought I’d find Christians in this secular school, but I did.  God is faithful and He’s using my story to help encourage kids coming out of the foster system.  He makes people whole.  He restores relationships.  He makes brokenness new.  And I cry, because when I think about all that God has done in my life, I can’t help but be overwhelmed.  

I’ll be home for spring break, so let’s catch up then, ok?  I’m not sure what God has next for my life, but the fullness He brings is enough.

Love always,

Shannon.

**This story is one of hope.  The background may be a little more exaggerated than what I fully comprehend, and the end is what we hope happens, the names have been changed.  But this my heartache this week, the burden I've been petitioning God about.

Lessons From The Oscars

I’m currently watching the Oscars.  This happens every year about this time.  Award nights come around and I typically don’t care.  But then I catch a glimpse of one award or one actress and I’m hooked.  For the next three hours I’m cheering for these people as if I’m obsessed with their music or movies and talking to them like their my best friends. To a TV!!  They can’t even hear me.  They won’t see my tweets.  The only other person hearing me is a family member if they happen to be in the room.  What is this?!

I’m not one of those people who read tabloids and follow celebrities in the news.  I typically don’t care.  I follow their movies and occasionally hear about their lives from friends and am mildly interested.  I don’t try to know them, but when award nights come around suddenly I’m all about their lives.  When the Grammy’s were on a few weeks ago, Fun. and I were best friends, as if I’ve been following their band for years.  I haven’t.  I sort of jumped on that band wagon this past Fall.  So why do I get so invested in these people in one night?

Movie stars seem to be a bit different because they play a person we can relate to or we can see small clips of their lives and in our minds we relate.  We pretend we know these people.  George Clooney and I have been tight ever since I watched him every Thursday night on ER when I was five, and Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have been a favorite couple since Ben was in Voyage of the Mimi which we watched in 6th grade science class.  But to say that I know them or anything about their lives is dumb.

Does anyone else find themselves starstruck with awards?  A few thoughts on why we do this and what I learned from the Oscar’s tonight:

1.  We all have a huge desire to be known.  We view these stars as people to strive to be like, and somehow think that if we know about these stars we will be known too.  We want to be like them because everyone “knows” them, and we long to be known as well.  Is that so bad?  Well, no.  God created us with a desire to be fully known by Him and that was broken with sin.  There’s a pit there.  So we fill our lives, our pits, with things that will make us known.  We chase stars, boy bands, even the star football player at school.  We surround ourselves with people who will know us and we put ourselves out there.  This isn’t necessarily bad, but only if we are filling our pit completely with God first.  We talk to Him, listen to Him, read what He tells us.  And then we can relate to other people and be known by them.  We know God and we know people.  Real people; not those who we pretend to know through a TV screen.

2.  Be in the moment.  One reason I want to know Ben Affleck was the contagiousness of his full presence.  As he was accepting his Oscar for Argo winning best film, he was all there.  Through that TV screen, I could tell he was absorbing being there, with those people, in that place, experiencing those emotions.  He was fully present.  How many times do I go through my day so busy that I miss out on the moment I’m in because I’m planning or thinking about the moments to come?  And then when those moments come, I’m not fully there either because I’ve already moved on to the next.  God gives us an exact amount of time, and what we choose to do with it defines our lives.  We collect the moments so that our lives have meaning and are full.  If we pass through each of our moments without absorbing them, they are not collected and they scatter – missed.

3.  Life is not about me.  Seth MacFarlane, who hosted the Oscars may have made some crude comments, but I felt that he did a fabulous job hosting.  He made the evening flow, was brief yet funny, and most importantly made the night about the films.  Most hosts/hostesses make the evenings about how great they are or all about how great their lives are; their jokes are at the expense of someone else.  But Seth did not do that.  He made jokes, but they were turned on him or the moment happening.  No one left embarrassed.  He wasn’t perfect, and I didn’t see the entire show, but from the majority of what I saw I was impressed.  This just reminds me not to make situations about me.  There is a time and place, but we don’t need to butt in to conversations or turn situations into “The Brittany Show.”  No one wants that.  In conversation, make sure you’re not monopolizing.  James tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak…  Life is not about us.  It’s about bringing glory to the Kingdom of God.

4.  Embrace the lessons of the character whose story we’re telling.  We’re all telling a story.  By the words we say, the actions we do, even our thoughts.  Each moment collects and tells a story, making up the whole of our lives.  According to the previous point, life isn’t about me, therefore I’m not telling my own personal story.  I’m telling the story of God working in my life; it’s His story not mine.  Anne Hathaway taught me this lesson tonight.  She gracefully accepted the well-deserved award for her performance in Les Mis.  She gave a lovely speech and ended it with “Here’s hoping someday in the not-too-distant future the misfortunes of Fantine will be only found in fiction and not in real life.” #Classy!  Listening to that really made me think of the story I’m telling and learning from.  Anne told the story of Fantine’s misfortunes, but we get to tell a happier story.  One of life and hope.  Unlike Fantine, in the end Christ wins!  This is what shapes us and what molds how we live so that we’re telling it.  We’re telling of His work in our lives.  We also get to learn from the stories of others and allow that to shape us a little bit.  We can allow the story that we’re telling to become bitter and callous or open to compassion and love.  What story am I telling?   Let’s embrace the story of hope, of holiness, and joy.  And may our lives tell His story and not ours.

Social Media Thoughts

As Social Media director for our youth ministry, articles like these stand out to me. I love this blog anyway because the women who run it speak blunt truth to the teenage ladies of this world. But this particular topic has become an issue with quite a lot of girls lately (at least the ones I follow), so here's a good, short read:

http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1915

I think that it not only applies to Instagram, but Twitter and Facebook as well. Instagram is mainly used by middle schoolers and filled with "selfies".  Selfies basically tell the world that you think you're the prettiest person ever and that you want some affirmation of that.  As ladies, we especially thrive off of what other people say about us - shown in how many "likes" we get on a single picture.  How vain do our posts then seem?  Can we please find self-esteem in Christ, the complete Creator of beauty, instead of imperfect people?
This not only happens with pictures, but on Twitter as well.  Apparently the new thing is to "subtweet."  This is basically complaining or gossiping about someone without mentioning who it is. It not only is annoying to one's followers, it's definitely not edifying to the Body of Christ.  Would you say that tweet to their face? If not, why post it? There are much better ways to handle frustration. Does it really need to be said, online or to a friend??

What a great thought to use social media to glorify Christ instead of ourselves.
How would our lives look if we applied this not only to Instagram and Twitter, but to every aspect of our lives??

So as we consider what we are putting on social media, let's remember to encourage one another, share the joy from our lives, and point to Jesus and not to vanity. I'm not saying to never post a "selfie" but to seriously think and pray about the motivation behind the post. And in any tweet or other picture, are your motives pure and will they encourage others or bring joy? These are things I need to think about myself. 

As Daughters of the King, stewards of all that God has given us, being made holy by the Lord, and examples of who Christ is, let's be mindful of what we are putting on social media, and what is coming out of our mouths and of our body language.

An Appreciation...

Of...

Ego Problems.       Jamzzzzz.       DJ and Tour Guide Lessons.       Cursing.       Elevator of humor.       c-c-cool b-b-b-beans-beans.       Playing the Background.       Frat boys' boxer campus-run-throughs..yikes.       Choir tour "kidnappings."       Stayin' alive.       Scrumptious cupcakes and melting dipped cones.       Stolen golf carts.       Uncle Don bathroom situations.       Mr. Magorium.       Jamz with Cademon's Call, Jars of Clay, Usher, and some loudly yelled curse words.       Blap Blap Blap!       Can I get an Amen, Hello!       Prayer and it's full importance.       A learning of student ministry.       Are you a man, or a muppet??  ...hmmmm.       "Because I'm Oprah!!" and 3 a.m. Walmart runs.       DelTaco late-night convos.       Laughs.       Birds  (Are we talking the animal or the finger here??).       Whore sermons - thanks for letting that be an ok thing. I really like talking about whores...       Date bets and freak-outs.    Candle Vigils.       Trashcan? Hospital.       Expectation of God's movement in student's hearts.       Old-school footprint posters.       Pinching-even though I don't think that "big brothers that I never had (thankfully)" would actually hurt me.       Pregnant with potential and other awkward statements.      Life being not about me or you.       Names that aren't my own proper name (not sure why Beege has grown on me).       Full life.      Mentoring and pastoring.       Cheesy Events.       Andy Stanley mancrushes.       Learning to fully love God, love people.       Zombie obsessions - whether it be sheep or people. Yup.       Allowing God to use you and impacting my life for the Kingdom in big ways that can't be put into simple stories.

Because you're 40 and oh, so old, here are 40 things I fully appreciate about you, and one to grow on.
I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to do ministry with you and to have you as a friend.  (:   beeee!

-BG

"A Dare to an Emptier, Fuller Life" | An Arguement and A Challenge

I’ve been rereading this book by Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.  This book changed my perspective on life the first time I read it, and now that I’m rereading it, I feel refreshed all over again.  In this book, she talks of how the way to a full life is gratitude.  God says that we are to live a full life, in Him, and Ann’s argument is that the way to do that is with a heart of gratitude.  I think this is true. However, I also think that there are other ways to live a full life, completely for Christ.  I find that knowing Him, and His Word, and serving Him are doorways to a full life as well.

[I hope you read the book so that what I’m going to say has context. It’s really a very good book.]

As I’m reading this book, her idea of counting gifts is healing to her and brings her into a deeper understanding of eucharisteo.  What I’ve noticed in her counting is that she counts things.  She counts the gifts of “mail in mailbox,” “sun-rays spread across hardwood floors,” and others.  Sometimes she counts things about her family, but most of her gifts are tangible things.  I understand that in order to be grateful for all things, putting a name to it brings about gratitude.  And in noticing the details of life, she is able to have a joyous attitude. 

I’ve learned that people have a happier, fuller life if they invest in experiences instead of stuff.  For example, typically there are two ways for people to budget out their money.  There are those who place value on vacations and doing things, and those who place value on having nice homes, cars, and stuff.  Now, the tricky thing is that sometimes things play a role in experiences, but overall those who invest more in experiences are more content in life.  Stuff always changes.  There will always be a new smart-phone to buy, a bigger TV, and a newer, faster car.  But experiences can be constant.  They happen, and they can’t be outdone, because they are ours. 

As I’m reading through this book and on a quest to live fully as God intends, I think that counting experiences and relationships has more value.  God calls us to live in relationship with Him and His creation, not with the things He’s placed around us.  It is important to appreciate nature, and I think that it brings us to an attitude of contentment, but I think there’s also more.

I also find it difficult to read this book because Ann lives on a large farm in Canada.  She’s in nature every day.  She home schools her children, and has the opportunity to be in her home, in the outdoors, and be grateful for that.  The majority of Americans live in metropolitan areas, such as myself (hence the name of this blog…life in the city).  Is it possible to be grateful in Dallas?  Amidst all the concrete, money, attitude, and people?  Ann has time for solitude, reflection, and gratitude…but do I?  When my weeks are full of youth, and school, and rushing, and I feel that my life is full already, is gratitude like Ann talks about really the ticket?  Is it how God fully wants us to live?  Maybe in gratitude, we turn our attention of what is in front of us to Him, Creator, and in doing so He is glorified.  Do I need to name them in the city?  Can I just be thankful that today I’m breathing and that He is reigning?

“This pen: this is nothing less than the driving of nails.  Nails driving out my habits of discontent and driving in my habit of eucharisteo.  I’m hammering in nails to pound out nails, ugly nails that Satan has pierced through the world, my heart.  It starts to unfold, light in the dark, a door opening up, how all these years it’s been utterly pointless to try to wrench out the spikes of discontent.  Because that habit of discontentment can only be driven out by hammering in one iron sharper.  The sleek pin of gratitude.”

So here I am.  At a place where I must do something, change something.  I know that if I ignore God’s teaching in my life, I’ll perish with discontentment.  So I’m going to start, for the next three weeks, naming gifts in the city.  I’m shooting for a few a day, no set number, just for the next three weeks.  And I’ll see what happens from there.  But my gifts must be experiences.  They are of the people I come in contact with, the lessons God teaches me, the small things that make a meaningful, lasting difference.

Join me?  In this discussion of gratitude and fullness, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The Post Grad Life

Well, this small-town college girl has graduated, moved to a big city (ok, really a suburb of a sort of big city), started a real job, and started work on a masters degree. Whew! If only that was the long list.
Honestly, life is good. Life is full, and busy, and overwhelming. But mostly full.  It is almost Fall, and I long for the trees in Arkansas. I'm not sure I ever thought I'd really miss it this much. But I do.  Not that I don't love Texas - my roots. But Arkansas sometimes feels more home.  Maybe Texas will become that way again after the transition is done.
I had a phone call today from one of my former youth students.  Actually two of them - they're twins.  It was so good to hear their voices, and comforting that they would call me on boyfriend advice.  As I listened to them talk, I was shown a bit of how much they have changed in the past four years.  When I first met them four and a half years ago, they wouldn't have even dreamed of talking to each other about boyfriends. They would have been too worried about fighting. But now, God has done some kind of work in their lives.  They are actually friends. It makes my heart happy.
As I talked, I definitely miss them.  But at the moment, I don't long to be in Arkansas.  I still miss it but I know my place is here.  Arkadelphia is changing; Park Hill is changing; and I am changing.  It is good.  It is healthy.  And the best part is that God is orchestrating it all and His timing and plan is best.  He intends for us to have a full life, and as long as I'm following His leading, that is happening.
As an update on girls ministry happenings, my how God's at work!  Last Sunday was "Promotion Sunday" and we had over 400 students! On one hand, it's nuts, absolutely nuts that we have so many kids! On the other, more positive hand, that is so many students that are hearing about Jesus! Praise Him!
I am very excited to be able to be a part of this work that He is doing in Frisco. Still not sure about the traffic, but blessed to be at FBC.

I'm posting a few of my posts from the FBC Blue Girls Ministry blog so that you don't have to flip back and forth between the two sites.  I'm going to try and do better at keeping this blog personal and the other ministry related.  I suppose soon I should change my title, but part of my heart is still in Arkadelphia, so bear with me.  Some days I feel as though I'm about to move back into West Side or Francie and we're all going to continue the college scene, but then I remember that some friends are in North Carolina, and Chicago, and Arkansas.  We'll see each other soon enough, but until then, God is doing a mighty work having us all spread out!
Please pray for me and my friends as we transition.  I especially am in need of some friends in Frisco that are about my age, and same situation. All in God's time.
May love, and peace, and joy be filling your life as the seasons change and Fall greets us.
InJoy,
Brittany

"To The Girl…Who's Life Is Changing"

From bluegirlsministry.wordpress.com

Can I just say that I love new things! New places, new cultures, new foods, new ideas, new people - I love it!

But man, oh man, change is SO hard! It is a weird contradiction, is it not?

Do you ever feel like I do right now? Like you're so content and happy to be where you are, but also long to be somewhere else? That's what I'm feeling right now. I love my new job in Frisco, and I love you girls that I get to hang out with and minister to. But at the same time, some nights my heart longs to be in Arkadelphia. I long for the clear, star-filled skies, the girls of my first youth ministry, and the comfort.

But then God reminds me that there lies the problem. Comfort. He told me a long time ago that my life is never to be comfortable. Content, yes, but not comfortable. And so I told Him that whenever I get too comfortable that He should move me. So He did. And I am so content, and life is full of joy.

God designed us to grow in change. Have you ever been through a season of change, and came out a better person for it? It happens all the time. We change from being elementary school kids to middle schoolers. And when we leave 6th, 7th, 8th grades, we are better people. Hopefully.

Let me encourage you that as life changes, embrace the growth that can happen. Let God guide you through these changes so that each choice you make is one that pleases Him, and is guided by Him. Change is hard, but without God at our side, it will be so much harder. And we cannot stay stagnant, living without changing. We must always change because time moves forward. We grow older, times change. And if we don't change with it, our lives become lost. Allow God to change you into the person He wants you to be. Allow Him to change you into a holy, righteous person, living for Him.

So do new things, ponder new ideas, go to so many new places, make a new friend, and eat a new food. You might find that you like it. And you will find that God has a plan.

Shall we change together?

"To The Girl…Who Needs Encouragement

From bluegirlsministry.wordpress.com

Social Media is becoming so ingrained in today's culture. It's almost impossible to have a discussion with someone without either mentioning something found out on facebook or twitter, or without first knowing some fact from the web. This is why we at Blue try to be up-to-date on the social networks. This may seem to have nothing to do with the title, but hang with me.

I had a phone call today from one of the moms of our youth. She was calling to tell me that another girl's mom was in the hospital because of surgery and experiencing some difficulty with the surgery. It seems pretty serious. I knew that this mom was having surgery, but had thought it was going well (because I saw posts on social media, of course). With this sad news, I was concerned for both our girls and the mom.

I checked Instagram earlier this evening, and was so encouraged to see what kinds of conversation (if it can be called that on instagram) were occurring between our eighth grade girls. This girl had posted that her mom was not doing well, and as I read the comments my heart was happy. All the posts were from girls in our youth group, her small group, and were discussions of how they had been praying for this girl's mom.

Just when I think that sometimes we're not getting through to some girls, I know that the Holy Spirit is at work. I know that we are surrounded by peers from church that are willing to pray for our hurts and encourage one another.

Life is hard. There are so many good things that happen in life, but often sad things happen. Our mom's get sick; dad's work late and sometimes leave; friends are flaky and change plans for better options; people are mean at school; life seems overwhelming when we try to balance school and sports; expectations sometimes put too much pressure on us; we don't fit in with the people we're around; we are forced to move and change our world; life happens.

But be encouraged. God is good; He is overly gracious; He puts people in our life in His timing that will walk with us; the flowers still bloom each spring; the sun still rises in the East every morning; God is faithful and saves; laughter heals heart-wounds; and sometimes people really are nice.


So as I sit here in Starbucks and enjoy a warm latte, waiting for fall to fully arrive, I want to encourage you. You can get up each morning; you can enjoy a full life; you can find little things to be thankful for. God will carry you through the tough times. Know that there are people praying for you, and are here for you through physical hurts, and emotional hurts.

You turned my deepest pains into joyful dancing;
You stripped off my dark clothing and covered me with joyful light.
You have restored my honor. My heart is ready to explode, erupt in new songs!
It’s impossible to keep quiet!
Eternal One, my God, my Life-Giver, I will thank You forever.
Psalm 30.11-12

"The Everyday Me."

From bluegirlsministry.wordpress.com

I wrote a bio a few months ago for the church website. Bios are supposed to make you sound good and are usually formatted in a formal way. That's great and all, but let’s be honest...I'm just a normal person. So can I tell you a bit about me informally? You might be able to catch on through my posts, but let me just lay it out for you.

• I love rainy days. (Much like the one today, while I'm writing this.) I think it's cozy.


• Laughing is my favorite activity.
• I love to travel, and especially cherish the summers I've lived in South American countries. Chicago is another favorite traveled place.
• Also, I have a fetishes with the Spanish language, tea cups, pearls, and purple. (gift hints, yup...just kidding)


• I'm currently living at home with my family. And it is fun. We're not perfect, and it's not ideal for a post-grad, student working on a master's degree to be living with her parents, but it's where God has me right now, and I really love my family. I have two brothers, a loving set of normal parents, and an old golden retriever named Molly.


• I just moved back to Frisco from Arkansas and I'm dealing with a bit of culture shock. I mean, really, who doesn't shut down the town for lunch breaks? And the traffic!! I count my drives a success if I get out of the car and am not stressed or angry. I'm working on it. With that said, I left a wonderful adopted-family, church, friends, and university in Arkansas. I am who I am today because of what God did while I was there.


• Squirrels are my favorite animals. I know, most people think they're gross, but I just think they're really cute. Not that I want to own one, but I sure like to watch them. Bats are another fascinating one to me.


• I'm bad about cleaning up my room or car...I'm working on it.


• I love old-fashioned things: Antiques, old barns, real honey from beehives, tea cups from my grandmother's China cabinet, etc.


• My favorite time of the day is that moment when the coffee cup and I become friends while listening to God's daily whisperings.


• I have insecurities, I have doubts, I have attitude issues; I'm impatient and I distrust; I forget to be thankful. But more importantly, I know that I can give my flaws to God to fix, and I know that He uses my weaknesses for His Kingdom.


• The grace of God is more than I can wrap my mind around. And because of His great love, I have freedom to live rightly and completely.


• I was called to missions in the 9^th grade, but God decided that it was only for a time. In college he placed a love for youth ministry on my heart, and here I am…doing girls ministry.


• I love teaching truth to younger girls. I was fed so many lies as a teenager and struggled with so many things of the world; I think it’s important for me to share what I have learned with those around me.


• Middle school girls don’t annoy me. Most of my friends think I’m crazy for spending weekends with 13-year-olds, but I think it’s a blast! The drama that goes on is silly, but I never tire of hearing it. Maybe God has me in the right ministry.


• My favorite weekend pastime is to watch movies! In my mind, movie nights should happen every day. And I’m pretty open to every type of movie except horror films. Chick flick, comedy, action, cartoon. You name it and I’ll probably enjoy it.

So there’s a little about me. It’s not a complete list, but you get a picture of what I’m about. I read this quote by an author, and I think it sums up my daily life.

“I feel like a success in my everyday life if I get through the day having spent time with the Lord, exercised in some way… and made a friend smile.”

Until next time, Brittany

"Middle School Girls Movie Night"

From bluegirlsministry.wordpress.com

Tonight was one of our first events with just girls. So what did we do? Watch She's The Man, naturally! It was a blast to have so many girls at church on a Friday night laughing together. I'm sure it is the first of many nights like these to come. (: