Wow. That's a Lot of Fabric.

What do you say to someone who is convinced they're dying within the week?  What words are seriously the right ones to say?

Our youth group has been visiting nursing homes since I started working with them two years ago. It's the ministry that they consistently do, and have grown to love. Over the two years, they've become really close to a lady they affectionately call the Quilt Lady.  Dolores Calaway has welcomed our Park Hill youth into her life every Thursday for the past two years.  I think the kids latched on to her because she was the most coherent person in Courtyard Gardens Nursing Home, and she always has a big bowl of chocolate waiting for us. It has been such a blessing to watch the kids interact with all the people we visit in the nursing homes, but especially Ms. Dolores.  Two of our kids, Hunter and Rachel, have especially grown to be close with Ms. Dolores.  The reason behind the "Quilt Lady" title is that Ms. Dolores makes quilts. Tons of them. She has a new one ever few weeks that she's working hard on.  Different patterns, different recipients.  Some to her many many grandchildren, some to her great-grandchildren, others to friends, etc.  We have loved hearing her stories of raising four daughters and of her grandkids, as well as teaching the youth important things as they come up. She has genuinely invested in our lives, and cares so much for these youth. She sweetly calls Hunter her "cute little boyfriend."

I haven't gotten to go to nursing homes since the summer because of band rehearsal, but since that's over for now, I was able to take a break from papers and tag along with our kids yesterday.  We walked into the saddest sight. I think Ms. Dolores has some sort of cancer, and we've seen bad days before, but she always pulls through.  The doctors are basically just giving her pain medication to hold off the pain, but there's nothing that can really be done to cure whatever she has.  Yesterday was particularly bad. We walked in as her daughter (who is nuts and always sings little kid songs to as when we come) was leaving.  Ms. Dolores looked so frail and tired and old sitting in her chair.  She was still glad to see us, but the spirit had almost left her eyes.  She told us that she has gotten progressively worse since Tuesday, and there's nothing anyone can do. The doctors upped the pain meds and it makes her very sleepy, but she said, "We're afraid this is the end. Coming soon."  She told us that the hardest part of her getting worse was that she was going to have to break off relations with us. She told us how much our visits meant to her, and how impressed she was with our loyalty.  I was inspired by her concern for the kids. There were a few of our 'regulars' there that she was worried about and asked what she could do to help their lives. I hope that when I know I'm close to death I can still think about others that much.

Yesterday's visit brought me pretty close to tears. To think of the impact she's had on our lives, and the motivation she gives our students to be selfless for a brief time on Thursdays and serve someone else is wonderful.

As Ms. Dolores was telling us basically goodbye (even though we're going back on Tuesday), she was so sweet. She was trying to tell us about how sick she was, but she kept talking about the current quilt in between bad news.  It was a definitely learning opportunity for me  as I watched Jason carry on the conversation.  He just followed the flow of her words and jumped around with her as she kept changing the subject. The current quilt is for twin babies and she told us that she bought seven yards of fabric for each quilt.  She told us that and then there was a brief moment of pondered silence, in my head I was asking the question, "what do we say to someone who is about to die?" Right as I asked that question in my head, Jason breaks my thoughts by replying to Dolores saying, "Wow. That's a lot of fabric!" It was a nice ice-breaker...

I still don't have an answer to my question, but I'm learning, and I guess if anything, the most important thing is to let them know how loved they are and how much Christ loves them. Making them comfortable might be wise as well. I don't want to say I have the answers, because I'm far from it.

A few of our kids will take Ms. Dolores' death pretty rough, so if you can be in prayer for the Calaway family and for us as we handle death, I'd appreciate it. Hopefully, it will be an opportunity to talk to a few of our kids about real issues, and the legacy or impact they want to leave just as Dolores has had an impact on us. I pray that my life can leave an impact on those around me and not leave them unsure about the uncertainties of death, because I have no uncertainties but I know a lot of people in this world do and are scared by that.  May I live my life in such a way that others see Christ in my and my life points others to Him.

Until next time,
Brittany